You know you live in Africa when...

1. “Now now” can mean anything from a minute to a month.
2. The employees dance in front of the building to show how unhappy they are.
3. The national network advertises and shows highlights of the program you just finished watching.
4. You get cold easily. Anything below 85 Fahrenheit is Arctic weather.
5. You can sing your national anthem in four languages, and you have no idea what it means in any of them.
6. You produce a 2000 CFA note instead of your driver’s license when stopped by a traffic officer.
7. You can do your monthly shopping on the pavement.
8. The gas in your tank may be worth more than your car.
9. A bullet train is being introduced, but we can’t fix potholes.
10. You have to prove that you don’t need a loan to get one.
11. It rains for less than an hour and everywhere is flooded. But the people are over-joyed.
12. A game of hop-scotch attracts half the village.
13. Every toothpaste is Colgate.
14. Every soft drink is coca cola or Fanta.
15. You call everyone older then you uncle or aunt.
16. No running water for a day is just another ordinary thing.
17. Being an hour late equals being “on time”.
18. You have an over whelming urge to wash all your salad in bleach and add a bit of charcoal to your milk just to get the taste your used to.
19. You know never to question what you’re eating (even if it does taste good), cuz sometimes you just don’t want to know.
20. Football is played with some sort of ROUND ball and WITHOUT hands.
21. You make friends with the local Sheppard and know the goats by name
22. You watch the minibus driver's assistant try to climb through the front window onto the roof in order to fit another passenger in.
23. After your bus has blown a tire, the one it's replaced with looks just as bad and old.
24. You can sing Akon’s “Smack That” without knowing what it really means.
25. There are more goats on top of the car than passengers in it.
26. You could make your own weave from discarded pieces.
27. Most of your aunts and uncles are younger than you
28. You ask you mother to ask your brother to ask your sister to ask your cousin to ask you Dad if you can have money for something.
29. You know it only becomes stealing when the other person notices its disappearance.
30. You're cell phone has a flashlight
31. For safety, you make your donkey wear a reflector.
32. The entire village has seen your boobs.
33. You don't understand the value of the money in your hand, but you know what that colored coin can buy.
34. Kids think exchanging an mp3 player for a bracelet is a fair deal.