Yo Mamma...

I have just witnessed the mother of all family disputes.

I'm not sure how the argument started nor from where it came nor what it was really about. But, like a tornado, it roared from nowhere and ruffled a lot of feathers. I didn't see my chicken for a hour afterward.

I was in my room when the ruckus started. At first, I figured the family was horsing around, as often happens with a big family. But the noise continued and the tone changed. I left my room, agitated that now, along with the goat, the mosque loudspeakers, the chickens, and the village idiot's children, I could add my family to the reasons that peace alludes me. Strolling out of my door and onto my porch, I saw my 18 year old host brother yelling profusely and irately at his aunt. I watch as the 65 year old grandmother attempted to separate the two while another aunt and the children watched on in dazed amusement. I stayed on, as it's not rude to be involved in everyone's business and I didn't mind a new piece de theatre. The most poignant moment was when the second aunt gave up running interference and sat down with her head in her hand.

Several times the grandmother was able to calm and separate my host brother from his aunt and and each time the aunt taunted him back. And all for what? I don't really know, but the aunt kept repeating "your mother." I think this stems back to the fact that my host brother's mother, who currently lives in Kaolack, is trying to go to school and raise three children. I don't know many details except that the aunt is jealous of whatever my host mother has. Why exactly? I don't know. I guess someone in the family, whom I don't know is giving her money and the aunt is envious of her opportunities.

Arguments and disputes in Senegal vary greatly from those in the US. At first glance, they do appear the same; yelling, gesturing, insults, and the occasional fist throwing. What separates the two is the pent up frustration and roundabout ways of approaching everything in live.

Frustration here is guarded and kept and left to fester. Socially, it is unacceptable to confront someone directly with one's grievances. Roundabout approaches are always best. A wrong is settled with a third party go-between who relays information and feelings. Yeah... and don't we all remember how well that worked in middle school? So, to fix this, we make off handed comments and allusions to someone else's money and fortunes, usually in the form of underlying one's lack thereof.

Just this morning, my surreptitious host aunt asked me if I liked tea. I replied with a sigh and the usual comment of "I don't have money," which, this month, has been exceptionally aggravating as I truly don't.

Also, your business is not just your own. Everybody be up in theybody's bidnez. I don't understand it. I equate to the fact that there is nothing else to do but gossip and you have to get someone else to do your dirty work. This is by far one of the most difficult differences to adapt to. I have dodged so many intrusive questions about my finances and what I pay for things.

When is someone going to import the stress ball?