CSI: Candyland

One of my fondest memories growing up was hearing Bill Cosby's take on family and children. The best, by far, was his section on children and brain damage.

It's true. Children have brain damage. I had it. And childhood is one long recovery plan. You can sit something in front of them, tell them not to touch, and while you stare at them, they touch it. And when you ask them, "why did you touch it" they respond, "I don't know".

But in my case, I get to put up with "I don't know" in three languages. "Xamuma", "Je ne sais pas" and "I don't know" all have the derivative of from Phoenician to Greek to Latin meaning "I thought you weren't serious."

(Mom, this is my formal apology, I'm sorry)

Last night I noticed a line of ants in my room. After a several minute hunt (remember these are African ants) I found their source - a blow pop wrapper from a month ago that I never threw out. Feeling very Senegalese at the moment, I opted for the easiest method. I took the remaining suckers, crammed them into a clear bag, then left them on the table.

Therein lies my mistake. The next day the kids kept saying, "offer me candy," which is how we ask for things in Wolof. I kept saying I didn't have any and as the day progressed I started wondering why they kept asking.

Later on I decided to take a nap to recover from the carb coma I enter after lunch everyday. At the time of my repose there were several children in my room playing cards on my floor. Shortly after, all of the children except for one left.

Now, this child who remained, as cute and funny as he is, has his solar panel aimed at the moon, if ya catch my drift.

So I am laying in bed and I start to hear a crinkling noise. I wake up and see him slowly lift a blow pop out of the bag. We make eye contact and he stares at me like a deer in head lights and I yell, in Wolof "theif." Well the family comes running and makes a huge stink of it, which they should have.

I later called him into my room to explain why his actions were bad and I banished him from my room for a week. He's been sulking out of sight all afternoon.

I just don't get it. I don't know if this is goes back to the cultural point of the Senegalese having no boundaries with personal effect or if this boy's brain dun fell out. I have lived with him for a year now and he pulls this. Brain Damage!